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Hammer Time!

Dollface Prepares To Play 'Whack-A-Mole'
With An Unsuspecting Customer

Commanding Presence

CSA General Cyrus Bones Didn't Let A Little Thing Like Death
Keep Him From Protecting His Daughter From Yankees

Batter Up!

A Ghastly Ghoul Prepares To Knock Hauntgoers Out Of The Park
Inside Farmer's Revenge


Since The Dent Schoolhouse booted out the Klowns this season and left our good pal Bludzo homeless, we at the HOD!!! have been having a serious case of Evil Haunt Klown withdrawal. We’ve been looking for a really crazed Klown that is rotten to the core, but yet retains the warped sense of humor that sets them apart from the other homicidal crazies. And we think we’ve found him at Sandyland Acres Haunted Hayride! As the wagon moves through the Big Top mysteriously ensconced at the edges of Sandyland’s cornfield, it’s boarded by a couple of Klowns looking for a few laughs. One of these big-nosed bozos is Mr. Giggles. Mr. Giggles isn’t so bad, despite the blood running down his white greasepaint-he just wants to play a game. And his game of choice is ‘Scream or Die’. Getting right up in the faces of two terrified girls, he explains the rules-“Scream, and I let you live. Don’t, and I come to your house later tonight and kill you”. We’ll never know if he’d really follow through, because the screams that emit from the girls fill the countryside around Sandyland!

Sandyland enters its eighth season under the capable direction of Gene and Brenda Webb along with their partners, the Stephenson family. The event is on fire, especially when Gene pulls out his remote control and activates the propane jet on top of the nearby silo! Much has changed this season, including the event’s host. Mortimer ‘Ripper’ Sneed is gone, replaced by a Confederate General complete with authentic uniform and engraved dress sword. With the change in hosts, there’s also a brand new backstory to go along with it. It doesn’t mean the old stories are invalid-the ‘Pumpkinseed’ story works just fine alongside the new one. The current version’s based around some local lore. There’s said to be a Confederate General (perhaps the brother of Confederate raider John Mosby) buried on the hill that’s behind Sandyland, and this along with wanting to create a Farmer character gave Brenda the inspiration for the new tale.

Gene’s usually suited up as Farmer Emmett Mosby, the title character in Sandyland’s walk-through attraction, Farmer’s Revenge. For a couple of years now we’ve been wondering just what it is the Farmer is seeking revenge for, and it turns out he’s got a legitimate reason. It seems that during the Civil War (or War Between The States, for those of you of the Rebel persuasion) the Farmer was killed by Confederate General Cyrus Bones. The legend gets a bit vague here…it might have been over the apocryphal ‘Farmer’s daughter’, Bones wanting to marry her and the Farmer wanting no part of that. Maybe the Farmer had his eyes on Bone’s wife, Boo. Maybe Bones’ wife IS the Farmer’s daughter. Maybe the Farmer was just a supporter of the Union (after all, Kentucky officially fought on the side of the Union in the Civil War). But no matter the reason, the Farmer ended up just as dead and wasn’t happy about it. His restless spirit, pitchfork in hand, continues to wander the barns and fields of Sandyland looking to catch up to Bones and punch his ticket to Hell. Sandyland has some sharp looking promo photos showing the two of them facing off, weapons in hand.

Sandyland brought back a couple of scenes that were seen in their first season but have been conspicuous by their absence the last few years. One of these is the corn cribs-the massive fence-like silos used to store corn. Looking much like large old-fashioned animal cages, they make a perfect home for Werewolves-there are a couple in there now, including the large animatronic wolf that Sandyland used in their ‘Red Riding Hood’ scene last year. If history is any indication, the Werewolves won’t be imprisoned for long-and that proves to be the case as they break out, joined by a couple that were hiding in the nearby cornfield just for good measure. The second scene making a triumphant return is the ‘flying spirit’ that soars through the air towards the wagon just as it enter the woods-it used to be a witch or a bat creature, but this season it’s a skeleton on a rocking horse. Either way, it’s a welcome sight as it cuts through the air with the moonlight reflecting from it.

The vehicle-and animal-chases have been souped up this season as well. The ‘Red Eye Express’ (the tractor with red headlights that used to chase the wagon in the field that precedes the Graveyard) now adds to the chaos of the initial plunge into the cornfield. It roars through the corn beside the wagon with only a few stalks separating the two vehicles. It’s soon joined by another gas-powered engine of destruction-this one belonging to a chainsaw wielded by a maniac dressed all in black. A scarecrow comes to life and hops aboard as well, and is joined by aliens from a blinking flying saucer that has burned a crop circle into the corn. What used to be a fairly uneventful part of the tour is now anything but! The next chase involves a skeletal rider on a black steed-this is perhaps the coolest scene at Sandyland and the very embodiment of Halloween. The horse passes close enough to the wagon to touch, and the sound of its clattering hooves as it crosses a bridge gives real impact to the midnight ride.

Within a few minutes, after passing through the ‘Island of Evil Dolls’ and an encounter with ‘Sackhead Jason’ and Pamela Voorhees, the wagon pulls into a rustic compound where a victim is chained between two trees. Could this be the home Ma (the woman running the Farmer’s Produce stand in the first scene-you know, the one selling arms, legs, and heads?) warned us about? “Don’t bother my boys in the woods”, she screamed, but it looks like we’re about to do just that. Giving the biggest scare of the night is the country boy hanging from a tree who attacks the wagon as it rolls underneath his perch. After several hillbillies take potshots at the wagon with shotguns, it appears the trouble is over as the wagon moves away from their shack. But the illusion of safety is shattered when the backwoods butchers clamber into their ‘monster truck’ and roar towards us in hot pursuit. This season the hillbilly trucks have their ‘stacks’ fueled with propane, meaning that when the twin pipes on the hood belch flame, it’s even more impressive than last season-you can feel the heat from fifteen feet away!

The truck gives up shortly before the wagon reaches the graveyard. After dealing with the inhabitants there and later meeting with Mr. Giggles Esquire, hauntgoers reach the final vehicle chase-this year, it’s Jeepers Creepers, the bat-winged serial killer and his huge truck. It crosses over the path the wagon takes and heads it off, screeching to a stop as the demonic killer clambers up the side and stands on the roof, preparing to do…who knows what?

Finally, there’s the Terror Barn, the final portion of the hayride and traditionally the location of the strongest scenes. This season you’ll be accosted by a bizarrely-masked Plague Doctor and his loaded hypodermic, bear witness to Leatherface bashing in the head of his freezer bound victim (and watch out-he’s not happy with just the one!), and finally be confronted by the civilized psycho, Hannibal Lecter, as he offers choice sweetmeats from inside the skull of his latest victim.

As always, the reactions of the hauntgoers on the haywagons make for the best entertainment. We had the good fortune to be sitting across from two teen girls who were the ultimate haunt actor’s fantasy-they alternated between false bravado and screaming terror, stating defiantly they weren’t scared one second and then jumping into each other’s arms a second later when a character jumped on board. And as soon as they declared all the monsters were gone and they were safe, the one standing right behind them would reveal himself! They were an absolute joy to behold and made the ride memorable for everyone on board. We told them after the ride was over that we thought they were great, and they heartily agreed they were, heading into the gift shop to pick up a few mementos for themselves.

Farmer’s Revenge is Sandyland’s indoor attraction-it’s a quirky combination of traditional haunt, carnival fun house, and dark maze. Outside, they’ve added a video screen so people can see what’s going on inside. Originally it was playing movies of past years’ hayrides, but Gene switched over to the live feed when it got a better reaction from the crowds. Inside, changes have been made for the current season-the Webbs spent about three months during the hottest part of the summer (under a metal roof, no less) making them. “We used to put the hayride together in about two months”, muses Gene, “but now we’re working on the haunt all year round”. Some of these involved removing things that didn’t fit in with the barn’s theme (the electric chair, for example) and adding scenes that did-such as the scene of the zombies raiding the henhouse. Farmer Mosby and his pitchfork often make special appearances inside the haunt. The dark room filled with hanging pipes has been moved and replaced with a new bloody dining room where the Farmer’s family sits down to a bit of ‘head’ cheese. Another of Sandyland’s well-done movie monsters appears in the person of Pinhead from Hellraiser, complete with a Lament Configuration box and a pillar of souls. A couple of Mr. Giggles’ pals have set up a ‘Sandyland Circus Outlet’ inside with a very nice vortex tunnel. There are the hanging snakes, bloody kitchen, dungeon, and boulder room (watch out for the Ghoul with the axe!) from last season along with other scenes. And while some haunts only threaten that you’ll leave with wet pants, there’s a new effect inside that guarantees that you will at Sandyland!

Work on the event was complicated by the flooding that hit the area earlier this year. Brenda was painting the two story façade for the outdoors Big Top. It had to be finished that day, since Gene was having someone come down the next day to help with putting it up-no small task, as it’s HUGE. As she frantically tried to finish work on the grinning Klown face, the rain began, getting heavier and heavier as the day wore on-and the water began to creep into the actor’s building where the façade was being painted. “It had to get finished, so we ended up finding buckets and platforms we could bring in and sit it on”, laughed Brenda, “and I ended up finishing it on time while standing in the floodwater!”.

More of Brenda’s handiwork can also be seen in the Spooky Gift Shop-while it might only be slightly larger than your average coffin, it’s packed with macabre artistic creations you won’t find anywhere else. On a cold night, it’s also a great place to hang out since it has a heater-and also sells Sandyland Blankets, bargain priced and just the thing to keep warm while waiting in line on a frosty fall evening. You’ll find other unique items like raven cages, light-up eyeballs, carved mini-statues from the cursed wood of Sandyland, custom jewelry, and stuff that’s so strange you’d have to see it to believe it. You can also get black or green T-Shirts with the Sandyland logo or a DVD of hayrides from past seasons. Or have a souvenir photo taken with the Farmer, the General, or other characters for only four bucks. Auntie Susie’s Haunted Kitchen is also on site with a large menu of food and drinks, a kiosk by the queue line sells glow necklaces and light-up jewelry, and there’s a stand selling kettle corn.

Sandyland’s made more promotional appearances as well, and it’s helped their bottom line. An appearance at Citibank in Florence (where the employees specifically requested Sandyland characters) led to several truckloads of their employees visiting the hayride, and an upcoming appearance at the Fifth Third Banks Halloween Party should yield similar results. Mortimer Sneed will even be making a special appearance at the Fifth Third event-we’re guessing General Bones wouldn’t have been happy crossing into Yankee soil anyway.

Sandyland Acres Haunted Hayride markets itself towards family entertainment rather than be dripping with gore and violence (although there’s some of that). It’s fun and exciting with just the right balance of horror and spectacle. It’s by far our favorite outdoor event-on a cool autumn night with a waning moon hanging in the sky and a layer of fog hovering just over the cornstalks, there’s no place with more seasonal appeal than Sandyland. As we’ve observed over the years, we’ve never seen someone get off the hayride unhappy. That’s tough for an event to do! And speaking of tough to do, when Mr. Giggles challenges you to play “Scream or Die”, try to keep from screaming. We’re dying to know how that turns out for you.

Auntie Susie's Haunted Kitchen Has Some New Items On The Menu

Oops, Sorry, It's Actually The Dinner Table Of Farmer Emmett Mosby

Pinhead "Laments" His Fate

Another Of Sandyland's Well-Executed Movie Monsters


Sandyland Acres Haunted Hayride and Farmer's Revenge is located at 4172 Belleview Road, Petersburg, KY 41080. Take Exit 11 off of I-275 West in northern Kentucky (past the Greater Cincinnati Airport) to KY-8 South. Then just follow the Sandyland Acres signs! It's open Fridays through Saturdays from September 13th through October 26th from 8 until Midnight. Regular admission for the Hayride is $12 (with a $15 VIP available) and Farmer's Revenge is $10, with a combo w/o VIP ticket at $20. There's the Spooky Gift Shop and Auntie Susie's Haunted Kitchen food concession on site. You can learn more by visiting Sandyland's Facebook and Twitter accounts, by emailing Sandyland at (replacing AT with @), calling (859) 322-0516/(859) 250-9790 or visiting the Sandyland Acres Haunted Hayride website.


All info on this page, including the event/pricing information section, is from the 2012 event. 2013 coming soon!

You Want Confrontational?

The Hayride's Actors Will Invade Your Space Big Time!


Mortimer Sneed (whose backstory places him in Whitechapel at the same time as Jack the Ripper…hmmmmmmmm) continues to be Sandyland’s ‘front man’, welcoming groups to the event and explaining the event’s rules. One of the most prominent concerns the ‘dead line’-an imaginary line that Sneed marks out by dragging his staff along the corridor that runs down the center of the wagon. According to him, it’s a line only the dead are allowed to walk. He stresses keeping your feet against the hay bales to avoid touching the line, an occurrence that no doubt would lead to all sorts of bad things happening to the transgressor. While this is obviously a creative way to try to prevent people from inadvertently tripping the actors as they board the wagon, we found that some of the younger members of the crowd took this advice to heart. After finishing up a tour, our group began to disembark when a girl of about six grabbed her family and shouted at them not to touch the dead line! She insisted they walk as close to the haybales as possible, shuffling their feet within six inches of the seats until they reached the steps to the ground. The little girl was heard to let out a big yelp of delight when her dad lifted her off the wagon onto the ground! Not meeting a deadline is rarely a good thing, but in this case, it had to be a relief for her!

Welcome to Sandyland Acres, home of the Haunted Hayride and Farmer’s Revenge. Run by Gene (currently in Freddy Krueger mode, stalking the crowd and popping in and out of the Farmer’s Revenge attraction) and Brenda Webb along with their partners the Stephenson family, it’s now in its seventh season. Perhaps the most impressive addition to the event this season is the pyro effects. The first one you’ll notice is the flame on top of one of the farm’s massive corn silos. And you might notice it way before you get to the farm-we spotted it in our car from well over a mile away. According to Brenda, installing the propane jet on top of the towering silo was harder than one might assume. “We had to build a catwalk up there first to make it safe to work on”, she said, “but after that it wasn’t too bad”. While working on top of the silo is probably daunting under the best conditions, imagine how it was for Gene when the effect had a glitch the first night of operation. “Yeah, it was a lot of fun climbing up there in the middle of the night and working on that thing in the dark”, laughed Gene. “Thankfully, it’s been running great ever since then”. You can also see two impressive pillars of flame shooting up just as the wagon enters the woods, punctuating the singsong patter of a rhyming voodoo man who boards the hayride while riders are distracted. They join the flames that shoot up from the twin stacks of one of Sandyland’s pursuit vehicles, but more on that later.

Sandyland’s also added a couple of brand new scenes inside the cornfield where none existed before. The first is in the field before the wagon plunges into the woods and features Sadako (from the ‘Ring’ movies) slowly advancing on the wagon after seemingly escaping from a well in the background. The second comes after surviving the ‘Klown Tunnel’. It was a last minute addition that even one of the creators wasn’t sure about including (that being Gene) but that has turned out to be quite popular with hauntgoers. It’s a flying saucer complete with a couple of BEM’s (bug eyed monsters) in flight suits. While at first it may not seem to fit in with a hayride, what could be more natural? After all, flying saucers are ALWAYS making crop circles appear throughout the Midwest! When asked about how the saucer was constructed, Gene just grins, but the secret is spilled when someone else blurted out that it looked like “a couple of satellite dishes put together”. And Gene confirms that’s just what it is. Pointing with a razored finger, he says, “Yep, they were sitting in the front yard there not too long ago”. Satellite dishes or not, in the dark and with special lighting and detailing the saucer looks pretty impressive to us! The new scenes, along with a few characters hiding out in the corn and the second vehicle chase have effectively eliminated the bane of most hayrides-dead spots that aren’t covered by actors or effects. This had been somewhat noticeable at Sandyland in the past, particularly in the area after the graveyard. Now, however, there’s always an actor or some effect throughout the entire half hour ride.

Most of the existing scenes have either been rethemed or had something new added to them. The flames we spoke of earlier on the silo were added to the ‘country butcher’ scene. The werewolf grotto from last season is now home to the ‘Forest of Dolls’, a scene inspired by Mexico’s creepy ‘Island of Dolls’. It’s home to the voodoo man we spoke of earlier along with a couple of ghouls (one of whom literally was right in our face-her nose couldn’t have been over an inch from ours). The following scene, home to Friday the 13th and Evil Dead scenes the past few season, is now Grandma’s House in the woods. Is that Red Riding Hood we see? And a HUGE animated wolf at the door? It’s a good bet that the wolves who used to be in the previous scene are somewhere around as well-and my, what big teeth they have! The pall bearers in the Sandyland Cemetery have been booted out of the crypt by the Grim Reaper and friends. They’re still there carrying their coffin, but the Reaper has built a massive iron gate across the front of the crypt and the interior is filled with fog-it almost looks like a passage into the netherworld. The ‘bridge over the graveyard’ is now a Klown area and has had a long tunnel added to it-just the right Big Top for Pennywise and his minions. And in the Terror Barn (traditionally the climax of the hayride), poor Saint Nick has been replaced by Leatherface, back to slamming the freezer lid shut on those troublesome teens that just won’t stay dead before firing up the ol’ chainsaw. He’s particularly vicious this season-a regular virtuoso of the blade. He was able to skim the saw mere inches over the heads of those on the wagon as well as slamming the saw down on the railing with the bar right in someone’s face. Feeling the gas-powered chainsaw’s vibrations shaking the railing just gives the scene that extra tactile dimension it needs for maximum scares! Finally, the doctor in the last scene now has a full syringe of glowing green reanimation fluid he uses to threaten hauntgoers-there’s just something about a syringe that freaks most people out. And if that doesn’t do the trick, the zombies in the background that break out of their cage are happy to finish the job! You’ll also find hillbillies with shotguns, multiple creatures lurking in the corn, a gallows, a woman being cut in half by a buzzsaw, and the scenes that everyone looks forward to…

…vehicle chases! Sandyland had added to them, both in number and effects, since its inception in 2005. Originally there was just the ‘red eye express’, a tractor that chased the haywagon upon exiting from the woods to the gates of the graveyard. That tractor now takes up position in its spot as the second chase of the tour, occurring in a narrow path cut through the cornfield on the approach to the Terror Barn. It’s known for getting close enough to the wagon where one could leap onto its hood. In fact, during Sandyland’s second season, a memorable chase had it actually making contact with the back steps of the wagon-mere inches from where the HOD!!! was sitting! The former course of the ‘express’ has now been taken over by the ‘death truck’, a souped-up vehicle belonging to the hillbillies from the preceding scene. It’s got twin chromed stacks rising up from the hood. As the truck revs it’s impressive sounding muscle car engine, it alternates between lurching to one side or the other of the wagon and tailing it from behind. All the while, it entertains the crowd by belching large jets of flame out of the hood stacks! And not all of the pursuits at Sandyland are mechanical. After being on hiatus for one season, the Dark Rider has returned to the event. Formerly the Headless Horseman, he’s now a skeletal rider that appears to haunt the haywagon before it reaches the safety of the woods. Sandyland has built a bridge for him to cross (ala “The Legend Of Sleepy Hollow”), and the sound of his powerful steed’s hoofs pounding across the wooden structure added a great new dimension to the stunt!

Farmer’s Revenge, Sandyland’s indoor haunt located inside an old barn, is in its second year. Based on customer feedback from the first season, Sandyland has increased the number of live actors found inside and eliminated some of the still displays. As fate would have it, the first actor we came across was Jim Fletcher, formerly with our friends at Haunted Cincinnati. Jim’s currently playing Horace Pinker from the movie ‘Shocker’ in Sandyland’s electric chair. So what’s Jim been up to that got him sentenced to death? I mean, we know some haunt owners overreact when they disagree with a review, but getting the chair for it seems a bit harsh. Well, it turns out Jim’s motivation was nothing more than wanting to help out Sandyland because Gene and Brenda are “such great people”. Once getting past the fried haunt critic, you’ll find the animatronic Leatherface from last season has been replaced by a pig-headed butcher in his ‘little shop of horrors’. It’s a very macabre sight and rendered even more sinister by the enhanced voice gear the butcher uses to threaten the hauntgoers. There’s little safety to be found after that as a black maze is entered-a crazy farmer continues to pop up from ‘scare panels’ hidden in the wall along the way and one can feel what seems like snakes thrashing against your legs. Before the way out is found a confounding room full of dangling pipes is encountered, and even after that things end in a torture chamber that appears to be a dead end. Escape that and you’ll still need to survive a room full of writhing snakes hanging from the ceiling, crates with mysterious contents, gi-ants, Michael Myers, Pinhead and his Pillar Of Souls, and the Sandyland Circus. The circus not only features one of the best vortex tunnels we’ve seen but also a Human Fly-just not the type you’re used to seeing climbing up hi-rises. As we mentioned last season, Farmer’s Revenge defies easy description-it’s not a traditional haunt, a funhouse, or a dark maze, but combines elements of all three. It’s a fun complementary event, and it’s probably best experienced before taking the hayride.

Elsewhere on the grounds is the Spooky Gift Shop and Aunt Susie’s Haunted Kitchen. While concessions aren’t normally something we at the HOD!!! dwell on, Sandyland’s are so unique that we’re going to. They add an extra dimension to an already enjoyable event. The Spooky Gift Shop is housed in a shed that isn’t much bigger than a clothes closet-but it’s packed with all sorts of cool handmade items put together by Brenda in the offseason. She’s painted skull plaques, made Sandyland Scarecrows, put together custom jewelry, filled jars full of Sandyland cursed soil, and generally made the tiny shop one of the more intriguing haunt merchandise stops in the area. The prices are excellent as well-none of the hyper-marked up items you’ll see at some other attractions. Tonight we bought a cool little silver bucket filled with gore and body parts with the Sandyland logo, a Sandyland muffler, a DVD of the 2010/2011 Hayride, and a pair of earrings for our wife (yeah, we wished we could have gotten her a Sandyland Thong ala Dent, but you can’t have everything). There’s also a wagon near the hayride queue line that sells glow items and other trinkets. Aunt Susie’s Haunted Kitchen serves the best variety of food of any local haunt, made to order (not sitting around all night and kept heated), and they even wrapped our stuff in tin foil and bagged it when they found out we were taking it with us. Sandyland has excellent customer service top to bottom-one touch that we really enjoyed was that they had an employee standing at the bottom of the wagon as riders exited, personally thanking each customer for coming. There’s nothing like letting your customers know how much they’re appreciated, and no doubt helps to keep them coming back.

Sandyland continues to grow in the hills of Petersburg in northern Kentucky…steadily…inexorably. Despite losing three Fridays out of the season to rain they’ve had a good season, helped along by changing their marketing strategy. According to Gene, running their radio ads on the Eagle has brought in masses of people from southeast Indiana-enough to help offset the lost days. While many midsized haunts flounder and never make it past a couple of seasons, Sandyland’s made solid decisions that have resulted in a financial and creative success. When next haunt season rolls around, they’ll be ready-setting a deadline for quality haunting that you won’t want to miss!

Stalking Amongst The Stalks...

Sadako Demonstrates Her Version Of A Crop "Ring"

We'd Have Called Him Bug Boy, But There Can Only Be One!

Nevertheless, The Human Fly Was The Season's Coolest Haunt Character